A good mate of me Dad’s said that ‘if you graft hard you earn the right not to grow up’. Anyway I’ve covered 1 year in 1 of my lives with ‘Freddy’s Blog’ and me and me mates have moved on. We had a wonderful childhood, and our early teenage years were coloured with daftness, camaraderie and wonder. Below is a brief glimpse of the individual journey’s of me mates.
NELLY: X Factor auditions. X Factor boot camp. Slapped nut on Simon Towel (her mentor) after his condescending comments and immediately thrown off the show. She now works for the British Council as a Diplomat in Hong Kong.
COMPACT COLIN: Studied at Barnacle College (part time). Went on to Blubbersfield University reading (English literature). Now at Barnacle Grammar School, Colin is teaching pupils how to write reading and how to read writing.
KIPPER: Faired a bit better than Nelly in the music industry. He busked the streets of Barnacle for a couple of years, hitch hiked around Europe, then went to find himself in India but didn’t like what he found and is now a DJ for Incontinent Radio Dash (‘the frequency for frequency’).
OSKAR: Joined the Young Socialists and then the Old Conservatives and now he’s a BAG (Barnacle Alternative Group) Councillor. He goes to see the turns at Barnacle’s Labour Club (The Red Shed) on Saturday nights, but drinks at the Conservative Club (The Blue Bed) other nights because the ale’s cheaper. One leg is well and truly either side of the fence, his brain being constantly sharpened by the pain of his lower bits scraping a along the wood at the top. (He claims expenses for removal of splinters.)
FISHCAKE : Part –time jobs after leaving school. He put 5 stone on while helping out at Jimmy’s chip shop. He eventually got a semi – permanent job at a local market gardening firm, becoming an expert in wheel barrow handling and soon losing the weight. He loved wheel barrows to the point of being obsessive. He came up with an idea to keep a dog or small child dry when it was pouring it down with rain. He simply turned the barrow upside down and put a larger wheel on. This enabled the walking child or dog to take cover under the canopy while an adult pushed it along. He patented the idea and made shed loads of money. You may have seen his store signs from the motorway ‘Wheel Barrows R Fishcake’.
FREDDY: Went to art school and became a Sculptor.
(PS: Uncle Bob says he’ll start his very own blog when he recovers from his Christmas at ‘The Old Trout’ public house.)